Two goobers were talking.
One was explaining to the other how the Lord often compensates for a person’s natural deficiencies.
“You see,” he said, “If someone is a bit blind he might have a very good sense of hearing, or if his sense of taste has gone, he may have a keen sense of smell.”
“I agree with you,” said the other. “I’ve always noticed that if someone has one short leg, the other one is always just that little bit longer.”
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Teacher fell asleep in class and Little Johnny walked up to him.
Little Johnny, “Teacher are you sleeping in class?”
Teacher, “No I am not sleeping in class.”
Little Johnny, “What were you doing sir?”
Teacher, “I was talking to God.”
The next day Little Johnny fell asleep in class and the same teacher walks up to him…
Teacher, “Johnny, you are sleeping in my class.”
Little Johnny, “No not me sir, I am not sleeping.”
Angry teacher, “What were you doing?”
Little Johnny, “I was talking to God.”
Angry teacher, “What did He say?”
Little Johnny, “God said He never spoke to you yesterday…”
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On the sixth day, God turned to the Archangel Gabriel and said,
“Today I am going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-looking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon.”
God continued, “I shall make the land rich in resources so as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth.”
“But Lord,” asked Gabriel, “don’t you think you are being too generous to these Canadians??”
“Not really,” replied God. “Just wait and see the winters I am going to give them!”