These Hilarious Husbands Tweet About Marriage Will Cheer You Up


My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless.

It’s hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth

— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 10, 2014


My wife just opened my car door for me.

Would have been a nice gesture had we not been going 70mph.

— Brad Broaddus (@BradBroaddus) May 26, 2012


Txt from wife: where r u


Wife:can u feed cat

M: I mean garage

W:bring in laundry


W:clean toilet

M: Idaho

W:get potatos

— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) March 16, 2015


me: honey you need to embrace your flaws

wife: ok [hugs me]

— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) August 16, 2017


I don’t understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.

— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) September 21, 2014


Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife’s is around $643.27. Apparently

— Boyd’s Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) July 19, 2013


Wife: It’s like every man on earth has to share one brain

Me: [can’t think of a good comeback because it’s not my turn to use the brain]

— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) March 6, 2016


The Mrs and I have been married so long she can finish my sentences.

She also starts most of them and supplies the middle parts too.

— The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) April 12, 2016