When the bell at the reception desk stopped working, the night clerk put up a sign: “Please call for service.” A guest named Howard stood beneath it and called, “Service!” so loudly that three people emerged from different rooms.
The cleaner thought he needed towels. The cook thought he wanted supper. The manager thought there was a fire. Howard needed a spare key. His wife was asleep upstairs, and his own key was locked inside the room.
The manager gave him one and told the clerk to replace the bell in the morning. Howard apologized for shouting. The clerk said he’d actually been behind the desk, kneeling to connect a loose cable. Howard said the sign ought to specify whether “call” meant use a phone or make a sound. The clerk said either would have worked.
The next evening the new bell arrived. The cleaner tested it. The cook tested it. The manager tested it. Howard, passing through the lobby, pressed it too. The clerk appeared and asked whether he needed another key. Howard said no; he just wanted to verify the new system.
At midnight someone rang repeatedly. The clerk hurried out. Nobody was there. He checked the corridor and found a child hiding behind a plant, testing how fast adults could run. He explained that the bell was for help, not a race. The child promised to stop.
At one in the morning the bell rang again. The clerk found Howard in his dressing gown. He had locked himself out a second time. This time his wife had written “TAKE THE KEY” on a note and stuck it to the door. Howard had taken the note instead.
The clerk gave him a key on a bright red tag. Howard promised he couldn’t possibly miss it. The manager arrived to see what was happening. Howard told him the new bell was excellent; perhaps too excellent. The manager said they could change the sign to “Ring only if you need help.”
The manager also tried a small handbell at the side entrance. It disappeared within a day. The cook found it beside the soup pot: a guest had handed it to him after using it to ask for a late snack. He returned it with a label that read ‘RECEPTION ONLY.’ The clerk wondered whether he was now running a hotel or a collection of instructions.
The clerk tried an experiment with the new sign. He asked guests what they thought ‘call for service’ meant. One said telephone; another said ring the bell; a third said shout for the manager. The cook suggested removing all instructions and leaving the bell alone. The manager insisted on a sign because somebody had once stood at the empty counter for ten minutes without touching the old bell. Howard admitted that person had been him, on his previous visit. He didn’t like to interrupt staff unless the sign expressly allowed it.
In the morning the sign was in place. A woman stood at the desk, reading it with an expression of deep concentration. She needed directions to breakfast but didn’t know if that counted as help. The clerk said it did. Howard, on his way out, offered to show her the dining room.
As they left, the child from the night before rang the bell once. The clerk appeared. The child held up Howard’s red-tagged key; he’d dropped it in the corridor.
Howard thanked him and reached for it. The child looked at the new sign.
“Does finding the key count as needing help?”
“For Mr. Howard,” said the clerk, “it’s a full-time department.”