Peter Meets Janet at the Singles Evening

At a singles evening, Peter and Janet discovered they both owned a black-and-white cat.

She showed him a photograph.

Peter checked his own phone, then asked what time her cat usually arrived for dinner.

About six, she said.

Peter looked at the organiser.

Could we have longer than five minutes? he asked….

Peter had nearly stayed at home.

His daughter said meeting people would do him good. He said he already met people at the shops.

She asked whether those people did anything besides scan his bread.

So, on Friday, he put on a clean shirt and went to a singles evening at the village hall.

The organiser, Carol, explained the rules. Each pair had five minutes. Then she would ring a bell.

Peter said that seemed rather soon to decide anything important.

Carol said he wasn’t buying a house.

At his third table, he met Janet.

She liked gardening, old films and quiet holidays. Peter began to relax.

Then Janet said she had a cat.

Peter said he did too.

Mine’s black and white.

So’s mine, she said.

Mine has a little white patch under his chin.

Janet smiled and turned her phone round.

This one?

Peter looked at the photograph.

The cat was stretched across a blue chair. One ear had a small notch.

He took out his phone.

His photograph showed the same cat asleep on a green blanket.

Janet leaned forward.

That’s Biscuit.

That’s Stanley.

The bell rang.

Neither moved.

Carol came over and reminded Peter to change tables.

He said they had just found something in common.

Carol looked pleased.

Janet asked where Peter lived.

Willow Road. Number eighteen.

She lived at number twenty-two, across the back gardens.

Peter asked what time Biscuit had dinner.

About six. He comes in absolutely starving.

Stanley left Peter’s house at five forty-five, after eating.

Janet said that explained why her cat needed a lie-down immediately after his meal.

Peter had assumed Stanley spent his evenings hunting.

In a way, Janet said.

They compared mornings.

Stanley had breakfast at seven. Biscuit arrived at half past, looking neglected.

Janet showed Peter a photograph of a little bed she’d bought.

He showed her a photograph of the one beside his radiator.

The cat looked equally exhausted in both.

Carol rang the next bell.

Peter and Janet ignored that one too.

They began comparing tins. Janet bought the expensive chicken. Peter bought the expensive fish.

Both had recently switched to smaller portions because the cat was getting rounder.

Both had felt guilty about his pleading face.

Janet said Biscuit had a very good face.

Peter said Stanley had practised it twice a day.

By the end of the evening, they had exchanged numbers and arranged coffee.

Carol came over with her clipboard.

She said it was lovely to see such an instant connection.

Peter agreed that the evening had been very useful.

Would either of you like to say what brought you together?

Janet put both photographs side by side.

We’re being two-timed by a cat.

If you enjoyed this joke, share it on Facebook and Pinterest!