“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.” Earl Nightingale
We are all judgmental in our own ways. We judge others by their actions and most of the times paint judgments about others. The worst part is that we spread these judgments that we have made about someone and we create a world full of judgment.
This is surely a negative world that we create; the world full of bias and prejudice. It is surely difficult for the person who is being judged to survive in such a negative environment. But the repercussions of judging someone also come on us. We carry grudges and negativity and both of them are not good for us.
Without even realizing this, we continue to call our judgments as our opinions and spread them far and wide, thus creating the world which surely isn’t a good place to live in.
Why should we avoid this?
We must attempt to reduce judgments because we must realize that we are all of a similar nature. What will hurt us will surely hurt the other people as well. But we don’t realize this and continue to make judgments on others.
Sometimes this can even mangle the confidence of the person we are judging and that is surely not good at all.
Should we stop this?
Yes. We totally should try to stop judging, however hard it may be to break the habit.
How should we deal with this?
Well, here are some ways to deal with judgment.
1. Release your own judgment:
This means that you must first learn to judge yourself. Most of the time, we are so busy finding faults in others that we have completely forgotten to put ourselves under the scanner. Only when we put ourselves under the purview, we will realize that there is so much within us that we should change.
Also, you would also realize that the flaws that we had been observing and criticizing in people were actually within us all along. This will certainly help you become a much better person, and will also help you focus on yourself and your own potential rather than thinking of others and wasting your precious time in judging others.
2. Switch your focus to the positive:
Tip #1 is a gradual process and it’s something that doesn’t happen overnight. In the meantime, practicing to switch your focus to the good of others and the good of yourself works well.
Next time you find yourself being heavily judged and feeling down, switch your focus on everything you have achieved. You have come a long way and have had great accomplishments. You are doing the best you can and you know that. In fact, the better you do the more nay-sayers there will be. So, by creating the habit to switch your focus and draw from that inner confidence will allow you to positively deal with judgment.
3. Don’t take personal offense:
If you are the person who is being judged and you come to know about it, don’t take a personal offense. Understand the simple fact that people judge others when they actually have deeply embedded flaws in themselves. Because they want to run away from their own flaws, they project that negativity on other people. People who judge are probably just trying to belittle you but don’t let them.
You are so much better than what people are talking about you. Try to filter the judgmental people in your environment and understand that your self-esteem and self-respect will not be influenced by people judging you. So, do not let the idea of your self-change because some people around you are judging you. Take it in stride. Anyways, it’s better to carry a tune, rather than a grudge.
4. Leave the situation:
If none of the above are helping you, leave the situation altogether. Don’t let yourself be a target of judgment. Cut out the judges of your life and choose your happiness. Leaving the situation also helps you rethink the ideals that you stand for. Become the larger person that you are, rather than letting anything around affect you.
Also, remember that judgment is not all bad. In a world where people continue to appease each other by ass licking and whatnot, it is super dope to have a reality check once in a while.
This means that judgments can sometimes be really helpful if you choose to look beyond negativity. It is always better to know who you really are and where you really stand because that will surely help you someday or the other.
So don’t consider the judgment to be all that bad. Just don’t change yourself entirely for people who are judging you. Learn to know which judgments you need and which judgments you can absolutely do without. If any judgment is making you change your core values, that cannot be good for you at all.
So probably the best advice to deal with judgments is that deal with them strongly and be sure-footed of what you are and what you want. Then, you are certainly good to go.