My wife and I…

My wife and I got stuck in an elevator and when we got home, we told the story to our kids.

They just looked at us and said.

“Soooo….. …did ya get out? “Soooo….. …did ya get out?”

My wife and I looked at each other and made a pact to go ahead and start drinking away their college fund.

LOL!!

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: “May I have your attention, please,” she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.

“We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.”

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore “F*** you!”

Without flinching, she smiled and said, “I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to get in line for that, too.

A Blonde’s Helicopter Lessons

A blonde was taking helicopter lessons.

The instructor said, “I’ll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you’re doing.”

At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.

At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.

Just before the helicopter reached 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.

The instructor ran to where she crash-landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. “What went wrong?”

The blonde said, “At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off.”