Maureen took her knitting to her first football match. Her husband explained the rules while she worked on a sleeve.
When the referee blew his whistle, she jumped.
A little later, she stood up and shouted at him. The crowd cheered.
Her husband asked which decision had upset her….
Maureen’s husband, Terry, had spent years asking her to come to a match.
She finally agreed when he promised her a seat under cover and a decent cup of tea.
She brought her knitting.
Terry said she might miss something.
Maureen said she’d been married to a football fan for thirty years. She had practice.
Before the match, he explained which team they supported.
She said the scarf had given her a clue.
Then he explained offside.
Maureen counted twelve stitches and asked whether he could explain it after her sleeve.
The match began.
Terry leaned forward. Maureen opened her bag.
The referee blew his whistle sharply. She jumped and looked up.
A foul, Terry said.
She looked at her needles and counted again.
The next whistle came just as Terry was explaining why the first foul hadn’t been a foul.
Maureen went back several stitches.
Their team scored. Terry stood up, sat down and described the goal.
Maureen said she’d heard.
Then another whistle stopped play.
She stared at her sleeve.
At half-time, Terry bought the tea he’d promised. He asked whether she was enjoying herself.
She said the seat was quite good.
In the second half, the referee stopped the game three times in quick succession.
Maureen put down her knitting, stood up and shouted that the man ought to give it a rest.
The crowd around them roared in agreement. A man behind her offered a thumbs-up.
Terry looked delighted.
I knew you’d get into it. Which decision was wrong?
He made me start this row again.
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