Janet ordered blue shirts for a family holiday, but chose a red one for her husband, Colin.
The printer asked if Colin was leading the group.
Janet said he liked correcting guides, arguing about sunbeds and trying every microphone.
The printer offered to put everyone in red so they could find each other.
Janet explained why that wouldn’t help….
Janet arrived at the shirt printer’s shop with a list of sizes.
There were eight people going on the family holiday. She had managed to collect seven sizes without a meeting.
The eighth belonged to her husband, Colin.
He had written medium, crossed it out, written large and added that the last hotel had washed his shirt badly.
The printer, Beth, held up a blue shirt.
Janet liked it. She ordered seven.
Beth counted the names.
You’ve missed Colin.
No. His is red.
Beth found a red shirt in the same style.
Group leader?
He’ll think so.
Janet’s daughter, Emma, had come along to help carry the order. She said Colin had already printed an itinerary.
Beth asked where they were going.
The coast, Janet said. Unless his shortcuts work. Then nobody knows.
Emma explained that her father liked to join in.
At the last hotel, he’d asked the breakfast cook whether the toaster needed turning up.
The cook said it was fine.
Colin put another slice through to show him. It caught at the back.
They’d eaten cereal beside an open window.
Beth asked whether he was the musical one.
He knows the first line of lots of songs, Janet said.
Emma said the trouble began when he discovered that hotel microphones were switched on.
He’d volunteered to introduce a quiz. The host had only asked whether anyone could hear him.
Beth looked at the list again.
Do you want names printed on the backs?
Not our surname, Janet said.
Emma suggested first names.
Janet agreed. Colin could have his in large letters. He liked people to know who to ask.
What about? Beth said.
Anything. He doesn’t need to know the answer before he starts.
Beth laid out the colours. She suggested red for everybody.
It would make a cheerful family photograph. They’d also be easy to spot on the beach.
Emma said they would take the photograph before breakfast.
Why so early?
He hasn’t met anybody to advise yet.
Beth rang up seven blue shirts and one red.
She said she’d understood wanting to keep the family together. She wasn’t quite sure how the odd shirt helped.
Colin might wander off.
Janet said that was unlikely. He usually gathered people.
Beth held up the red shirt.
At least you’ll see him coming.
Exactly.
But if you all matched, he could find you too.
Janet picked up her bag.
That’s what we’re trying to prevent.
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