The photographer tried six times to get a family picture with everyone’s eyes open.
Dad blinked in every one. He said the lights made him sleepy.
The photographer offered to tell a joke to keep him alert.
Mum took a folded bill from her handbag and said she had a better idea….
Mum had booked one proper family photograph before their eldest left home.
Dad said their phones already contained thousands of pictures.
Mum pointed out that most showed the dog and the rest showed Dad asleep behind the dog.
At the studio, the photographer arranged everyone on a long bench.
He asked them to relax. Mum straightened Dad’s collar. Their daughter fixed her brother’s hair. The brother immediately put it back.
The photographer counted to three and took the first picture.
The children looked fine. Mum looked fine. Dad’s eyes were shut.
They tried again without counting. Dad blinked at the sound of the camera.
The photographer asked him to look just above the lens.
Dad looked as though he had fallen asleep while studying the ceiling.
By the fourth attempt, the children had started making predictions.
Mum told them they were not having a betting game in the family portrait.
Dad said the warm lights made him sleepy. He had been perfectly awake in the car.
You were asking how much this cost, Mum said.
The photographer suggested a short break. Dad relaxed so quickly that Mum refused.
On the sixth attempt, the photographer tried a joke about a dog with no nose.
Dad closed his eyes and supplied the ending.
Mum opened her handbag. She took out the bill for the photograph package and held it behind the camera.
The photographer asked whether she wanted him to wave it.
No, she said. He can sleep through movement.
Should he read something from it?
Read him the total.
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