Before their wedding, Lucy and Tom took an unopened flat-pack chair to a couples’ counsellor.
They agreed on the colour, the price and where it should go. The counsellor couldn’t see a problem.
Then he asked which of them would read the instructions. They both pointed at him….
Lucy and Tom arrived at their first couples’ session carrying a flat cardboard box.
The counsellor, Ben, asked whether they were moving house.
Not yet, Lucy said. We’re practising.
Tom put the box on the floor. It contained one dining chair.
Ben asked what the disagreement was about.
Lucy said she liked the chair. Tom said he liked it too.
Had one of them spent too much?
No. They had chosen it together in the sale.
Was there a problem with where it would go?
By the table, they said at once.
Ben smiled. Agreement was a good start. He asked why they had booked the session.
Lucy said they had assembled a wardrobe the previous weekend.
Tom said they had partly assembled a wardrobe.
Lucy said it had doors.
Tom said a wardrobe generally allowed you to open them.
Ben asked whose idea it had been to build it without reading the instructions.
Neither of them answered immediately.
Tom said he had read the pictures. Lucy said he had started at picture four because the man in picture one was still counting screws.
Ben suggested they should avoid blame.
That’s what we thought, Lucy said. That’s why we’ve brought this.
Ben looked at the chair box.
They wanted him to help them discuss a practical task calmly.
He asked who normally read the instructions. They looked at each other.
He asked who normally held the pieces. They looked at each other again.
Perhaps a clear division of roles would help, Ben said.
Tom took a small screwdriver from his pocket. Lucy produced the instruction booklet.
Ben said that was promising.
Then they handed both things to him.
He explained that his job was to help them work together, not build their furniture.
Lucy and Tom exchanged a glance. For the first time that afternoon, both smiled.
Ben asked what they had just agreed.
You’re doing the wardrobe next.
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