Jack took a three-kilo dumbbell on holiday.
His wife never saw him lift it.
It stayed in his suitcase for the whole week.
At the airport, his bag was exactly on the weight limit.
She asked why he’d carried exercise equipment he hadn’t used….
Jack usually came home from holidays with two things he hadn’t needed: sunburn and something made of pottery.
There was a little boat on the hall table. A painted fish occupied the windowsill. In the cupboard was a bowl nobody could wash because its label said it was for looking at.
His wife, Rose, said she would happily look at it in a shop.
For their next trip, they agreed to travel light.
Jack packed shirts, trousers and enough socks for the week. He weighed the case.
Then he went to the spare room and fetched a small dumbbell.
Rose watched him wrap it in a T-shirt.
Exercise equipment?
Jack said it might be useful.
She was impressed. Usually his holiday exercise consisted of turning objects upside down to read the price.
At the hotel, Rose noticed a little gym beside reception.
They’ve got weights, she said. You needn’t have brought yours.
Jack said he preferred his own.
He left it in the suitcase.
On Monday, Rose suggested a few exercises before breakfast.
Jack said he’d rather start after breakfast.
After breakfast, he said they’d eaten too recently.
Rose reminded him again on Wednesday.
He said he was on holiday, not in training for the Olympics.
She stopped reminding him.
They walked through a market that afternoon.
A stall displayed a blue pottery lighthouse.
Jack picked it up. It had little windows, a tiny door and a price tag tied round the top.
Rose waited for the familiar speech about how nice it would look at home.
Jack turned it over, then put it back.
She asked what was wrong with it.
Nothing. Bit heavy.
The woman at the stall offered to wrap it carefully.
Jack said wrapping wasn’t the problem.
At another stall, he admired a little wooden boat.
Rose said they already had one.
This one’s different.
Yes. It’s here.
Jack checked the baggage allowance on his booking and put the boat down.
By Friday, he had refused a decorative dish, two mugs and a stone bird which he said looked very friendly.
Rose said it would soon make friends with everything in their cupboard.
He left it on the shelf.
On the last morning, Jack folded his clothes round the dumbbell. He hadn’t once unwrapped it.
At the airport, he put the case on the scale.
The number stopped exactly at his allowance.
Jack looked pleased.
Rose pointed to the case.
You’ve carried that weight all week and done no exercise with it.
Jack said it had been very useful.
The hotel had a gym, she said. You could have used theirs for nothing.
That wouldn’t have worked.
What exactly was your weight doing that theirs couldn’t?
It’s my souvenir limit.
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