Ruth had every tool in Alan’s garage sorted and labelled.
On Saturday, she asked him to tighten the kitchen cupboard handle.
He found the right screwdriver in five seconds.
An hour later, he was still in the garage, opening drawers.
What are you looking for now? she asked….
Alan had owned the garage for twenty years. For most of that time, he had been looking for a screwdriver.
Ruth could hear the search from the kitchen.
A drawer would open. A tin would rattle. Alan would say somebody had moved everything.
Usually, he was the only person who had been inside.
When she asked him to fix a cupboard handle, he said he would do it as soon as he found the right tool.
When a shelf slipped, he needed a special drill bit.
When the towel rail came loose, he spent the afternoon looking for the little key that fitted it.
By dinner, he was always tired from getting ready.
For his birthday, Ruth hired a woman named Jane to sort the garage.
Alan said there was no need.
He knew where everything was.
Jane asked him for a screwdriver.
He said she had caught him at an awkward moment.
She spent Friday putting the tools on hooks and screws in clear boxes. She labelled each drawer. She even drew round the tools, so an empty place would show what was missing.
Alan watched her outline the hammer.
What happens if I buy a different hammer?
We’ll leave that problem for your next birthday, Ruth said.
Jane found seven tape measures.
Alan said that proved how often he needed one.
She also found the little key for the towel rail. It was inside a box marked CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.
There was probably a reason, Alan said.
Jane put it in a drawer marked SMALL KEYS.
Ruth paid her and stood in the doorway, admiring the clear floor.
Alan said he would need time to learn the new system.
Jane pointed at the screwdriver drawer.
SCREWDRIVERS.
He nodded.
That bit seemed straightforward.
On Saturday, Ruth reminded him about the cupboard handle.
Alan put on his old work jacket. He went into the garage.
Five seconds later, he had the right screwdriver in his hand.
Ruth smiled and went back inside.
Half an hour passed.
Then another half hour.
There was no sound from the kitchen cupboard.
She found Alan beside the workbench. He had opened three drawers and was staring into a fourth.
She asked whether the screwdriver was the wrong size.
No.
Did he need a drill?
No.
Screws?
Got those.
Ruth looked at the neat hooks, the clear boxes and the tool still in his hand.
You used to spend all morning finding that. You’ve got everything you need now. What on earth are you looking for?
Alan closed the drawer.
A new excuse.
If you enjoyed this joke, share it on Facebook and Pinterest!