Louise Bids for an Enormous Painting

Louise surprised her husband by bidding for an enormous painting at an auction. She didn’t usually buy art.

He pointed out that it would fill their van. She kept bidding.

After she won, he asked where she planned to hang it. Louise looked past him at the next item for sale….

Louise went to the auction with her husband, Ken, because he had promised they were only looking.

He had brought the van.

For looking? she asked.

Parking is easier.

Ken stopped beside a grandfather clock. He opened its little door, peered inside and asked whether it worked.

Louise reminded him about looking.

I need to know what I’m looking at.

At the back of the room stood a grand piano. Ken sat on the stool.

You don’t play, Louise said.

I could learn.

You said that about the accordion.

An auction helper explained that buyers had to take large purchases away that afternoon. Ken asked whether the piano’s legs came off.

Louise went to find a seat.

The next lot was a large landscape in a heavy frame. It showed a lake, a hill and several sheep. Louise raised her bidding card.

Ken hurried over.

What are you doing?

Buying a painting.

You don’t like that sort of thing.

I’m beginning to.

Someone near the front raised the price. Louise bid again.

Ken whispered that the painting was almost as tall as their kitchen door.

That sounds right, she said.

The auctioneer asked for another bid. Nobody moved. The painting belonged to Louise.

Ken folded his arms.

You always tell me to think about space.

I have.

Two helpers carried the painting towards the loading doors. Louise gave them the van keys.

Ken asked them to be careful. He didn’t want the frame damaged.

Then he turned back to his wife.

We haven’t got a wall that size. Where are you going to hang it?

The auctioneer announced the grand piano. Ken reached for his card. Louise gently lowered his hand.

Nowhere. It’s going to take up the van.

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