Ron kept promising to fix the leak above his armchair.
After another wet evening, Jean went to the hardware shop. She asked for a small piece of guttering and a bucket.
The assistant asked how long the gutter needed to be.
Jean took out a tape measure and explained what she had measured….
Ron put a saucepan beside his armchair and said he would look at the roof when the weather improved.
When the sun came out, he said they needed rain to find the leak.
Jean pointed at the mark on the ceiling.
It’s left an address.
Ron said roofs needed careful thought.
Over the next week, he moved the saucepan four times. He found a quieter spoon to put inside it so the dripping would disturb the television less.
Jean asked whether he was repairing the roof or improving the music.
I’m watching it.
So am I. It’s coming indoors.
On Friday, a drop landed on his shoulder.
Ron moved the chair six inches.
Jean fetched a towel.
On Saturday morning, she asked him to stand up.
Why?
I need to measure something.
He thought she might be buying a new chair. He lifted his arms while she measured from one armrest to the other.
Allow a bit for the cushions, he said.
She wrote that down.
At the hardware shop, the assistant showed her several lengths of guttering.
Is it for a porch?
No.
A shed?
Not yet.
He asked whether she had measured the edge of the roof.
Jean gave him the width of the chair.
That’s a very small roof.
It’s a very small job.
He suggested a bucket for the end of the pipe. Jean chose one with a handle.
Will someone be emptying it regularly?
He will if he wants to put his feet down.
The assistant paused with his pencil above the order.
Perhaps your husband could bring a photograph. Then I can explain how to fit it.
Jean said she already had a photograph.
It showed Ron watching television under the damp patch.
The assistant looked at the chair, then at her measurements.
Where exactly is this gutter going?
Round him. I’ve given up on the roof.
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