Graham went mattress shopping with his wife, Denise, and immediately asked whether the beds could be tested properly.
The salesman, Marcus, assured him they could.
“Lie down. Take your time. Comfort is a serious decision.”
Graham removed his shoes, stretched out on a display bed, and closed his eyes.
Denise asked about pocket springs.
Marcus began explaining them.
Graham began snoring.
Marcus lowered his voice.
“That is often a positive sign.”
“He does that in the car,” Denise said. “We have not bought another one.”
She tried the next bed. It was too soft. The one beyond that was too firm. Graham remained on the first, looking more committed to the purchase than he had looked at their wedding.
Marcus offered a pillow.
Graham accepted without opening his eyes.
“Excellent customer service,” he murmured.
Denise examined prices, guarantees, delivery dates, and the height of the base. She returned twenty minutes later.
“Graham, which one do you prefer?”
“This one.”
“You have only tried this one.”
“Why introduce doubt?”
Marcus suggested another mattress for comparison. Graham agreed, moved six feet to the left, and resumed his research.
A family arrived. Their little boy pointed at him.
“Does that bed come with a grandad?”
“Optional,” Denise said.
Marcus laughed nervously.
The boy climbed onto an adjacent mattress and pretended to sleep.
His father told him not to play on the furniture.
Graham opened one eye.
“It is a legitimate evaluation.”
Denise asked whether legitimate evaluations always involved taking off your belt.
By lunchtime, Denise had chosen a mattress. Graham was on his fourth.
Each time Marcus mentioned a sale ending soon, Graham said he could not rush a decision affecting the next ten years.
Denise said his naps usually affected the next ten minutes.
She signed the order.
Marcus went to print the paperwork.
“Shall we wake your husband?”
Denise looked across the showroom. Graham had pulled a demonstration duvet over himself. One foot protruded beside a card reading TRY OUR SUPPORT.
“Could you leave him while I collect a few things?”
“How long?”
“Half an hour.”
Marcus said that would be fine.
Denise returned with groceries.
Graham woke as she approached, stretched, and announced that the support was excellent.
On the way home, Denise asked whether he had enjoyed the outing.
“Very informative.”
“And relaxing?”
“I had to assess the recovery position.”
The following Saturday, Graham volunteered to accompany her to town.
Denise stopped outside the mattress shop.
“We have already bought one.”
“It has not arrived. I should confirm the choice.”
Inside, Marcus recognised them.
Graham asked whether the same display model was available.
Marcus said yes.
Denise handed Marcus a small carrier bag containing Graham’s slippers, a newspaper, and a packet of biscuits.
“I thought these might improve the assessment.”
Graham called her considerate.
Denise asked Marcus quietly whether the shop had a café nearby.
“Several.”
“And are you open until five?”
“Yes.”
“Wonderful.”
She left Graham conducting a long-term trial and met her sister for lunch.
When she returned, Marcus was holding a clipboard.
“Your husband has given us some very useful feedback.”
“Has he?”
“He says the pillow should be higher and the biscuit plate nearer.”
Denise asked whether she owed anything.
Marcus hesitated.
“Technically, customers are welcome to test the furniture.”
“Excellent. Can I book next Saturday?”
Marcus looked toward Graham, who was asking for the duvet in blue.
“Mrs. Clarke, are you buying another mattress?”
“Certainly not.”
“Then what exactly are you reserving?”
Denise checked her diary.
“Childcare.”